Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Sandy Hook Elementary . . . A Letter to Peanut
You are barely ten weeks old in my tummy and probably aren't noticing much going on outside of your cozy bubble. And, that's good. You need to just concentrate right now on growing fingernails and kidneys and limbs. But, something tragic has happened in the world you will be joining in just a few months.
A man, consumed by evil, went into a school and killed 20 children and 7 adults. He did this after killing his momsie and taking her guns. Schoolchildren everywhere are scared. And parents are too. We just can't imagine what kind of person would have done such a horrendous and unimaginable crime. Many people have developed theories as to why this young man could act in such an evil way. Asperger's Syndrome, social withdrawal, mental health issues, family turmoil, violent video games, stimulant medication . . . all of these and more have been offered as possible reasons for such violence. We look at the picture of the young man and try to see something in his eyes, something that someone should have recognized earlier. The truth is, when I look at his picture, I see something sad and I wish I could give him a hug. I know he's an evil killer, but he looks like such a sad little boy to me.
We look at the pictures of the victims and cry. Tears of grief and of desperation. We've seen too many of these senseless killings lately. Nowhere seems safe - not schools, military bases, malls, or movie theaters. Evil can find us anywhere.
Just yesterday, as I was thinking over all these things and praying for those poor families in Connecticut, I had a doctor's appointment for that darn sinus infection. (You know it I'm sure. All that coughing and hacking momsie's been doing? Sinus infection.) Anyhow, the doctor wanted to hear your heartbeat. To be honest, I wasn't feelin' it. I just wanted my meds. But, as she started listening . . . listening . . . listening . . . moving the doppler all around searching for your heartbeat, I started to panic. Where are you sweet little Peanut? I worried about you. And, I thought, "Ah, let the worrying begin." Worry about safety . . . worry about well-being . . . worry about happiness . . . worry about normal development . . . worry about mental health . . . worry about your relationship with God. I worry that you will be a victim of an evil crime. Or even worse, and almost unspeakable, that you will perpetrate such an evil act on others.
God tells us not to worry. "For I am the Lord thy God, who take thee by the hand, and say to thee: Fear not, I have helped thee." (Isaiah 41:13). So, today, instead of worrying, I will choose to pray.
This is what I pray for you today, Peanut. I pray for your safety. I pray that you will be protected from evil. That in every moment we are apart, that God's protection will surround you. I pray that you will be able to find support in people, and not withdraw from connection. And, most of all, I pray that you will guard your thoughts. An evil thought, placed in your mind from a video game, an inappropriate movie, or a peer, once given a foothold can quickly become a stronghold. In a world that tells you there is no absolute truth, I pray that you will be able to discern the difference between good and bad, truth and lies, purity and evil. Examine every thought against God's truth, Peanut, and throw away any and all thoughts that might lead to bitterness, anger, jealousy, discontent, and hate. Be loving, Peanut, and let others love you.
And when it seems like noone else cares, remember, Momsie and God love you. Always.